1111

1111 was what u always message me wherever i was. As the time strikes 1109 on my watch, your 1111 message never fails to be in my inbox. I never know what it really meant, i've heard that wishes come true when the auspicious time arrive. Secretly i did wish for things, things for us although i din't really believe in all that kind of crap. I know i might never receive any more of 1111 from you, what i did was the best for both of us. You might not ever understand but one day when you find someone you truely deserves, someone who can satisfy whatever you want, someone who can do whatever i cant. 

I always thought that the differences in our lives will make up for what we lack, guess it was too much for us to take... We are like the time from both our world, mine will always be 1109 while your's strike 1111, i'll only always be the one chasing, and can never be what you want me to be. i am sorry

werk

"act like your job is the most important thing in the world, but never forget that it's ultimately meaningless. all we are is dust in the wind, yada yada yada"

alone

There he went for a smoke knowing it will bruise his wounds further but he dint care less. there might have been talks about the world ending that night but he just sat there and puff away. spitting out blood out of his mouth, he wondered how long does he have to go through this ordeal. with all the doomsday bullcrap, he thought back what if it happens and he is alone? he really dint mean for this to happen, it is becoming more of a routine already. he really dint like his life, and so he reaches for another stick and spent the rest of the night meaninglessly

you are a fucking loser

confidence

he stared at his watch, noting seconds ticking away his opportunity. he would glance towards the farther side of the classroom, hoping to catch her stealing a glimpse at him. even that would have made his day. wild thoughts and even old advices raced through his mind however only to make him restrain himself from advancing towards her. she might accept him into her life or would she just treat him just like all the other guys? he dint dare to answer though part of him know where he stood.
time's up, there she goes off with her classmates who will enjoy every ounces of her company. he just stood there numbing himself with the same old excuses, lying to himself that he will one day get what he want.. all these wasted chances will soon come back to haunt him. 

1 year 6 months later..

nothing much ever changes around, cept that i've started to pay for everything i own now.                                                                                  

the more i've lived, i realise that life is greatly affected by mood, no life will suck if you are happy, its a matter of perception and outlook of how our mind digest whatever that comes. sadly its a tough skill that requires people to stay positive or in another word LIE.

life is never fair to begin with, not to those born in the third world countries where its either the never ending war and hatred of 2 or more group of people that affect the innocent newborn, purely innocent victims. they are brought into a world of pain, sufferings that nobody, no fucking anyone should deserve. why?

people like us in singapore are brought up in an environment where everything is provided for; a six year old singaporean child can complain about not having an iphone while another six year old in the other part of the atlas is starving, counting down on the last few ration his family can sustain on. why?

we should be reminded that we are so fortunate to even live, in a peaceful country, where food are of abundance. no matter how much you feel shitty about living here, please be reminded that you are not the only one with such minor problems, there are those who will kill to be in your shoes.

good9, sad world~

Meaningful Nonsense

I've seen other people blog writing all about how people should live their life and everything, all the meaningful nonsense that are true. They were well written and i agree in most parts but as time go by, i've realised that alot of people also have the same sentiment.

Now what does that show? Almost everyone are able to understand what life should be lived and how it should be handled. They know how they want to live their life, be it meaningful or in shame depending on how they were brought up and taught because not everybody is the same. For instance, i might find smoking something to live with, others might hate it.

However, when i realised that most people have thought about these really DEEP and CHIM things, i find it weird why they are still not doing it according to what they wrote and their values... What is holding them back?

Hello stranger.

He always take the bus from a stop behind to not get seen with the crowd. They all thought that he hated the crowd. Only he knows why. He often wonder why is he so different from the others. He wants to change, nothing changed. Just then, the pink girl board the bus. He dint know her. He wants to know her. He know he cant unless something happens. Nothing happened. He just sat there waiting, wondering if he falls under the stalker catagory.

Nah, i think he is just desperate. And something is really wrong with his life.