alone

There he went for a smoke knowing it will bruise his wounds further but he dint care less. there might have been talks about the world ending that night but he just sat there and puff away. spitting out blood out of his mouth, he wondered how long does he have to go through this ordeal. with all the doomsday bullcrap, he thought back what if it happens and he is alone? he really dint mean for this to happen, it is becoming more of a routine already. he really dint like his life, and so he reaches for another stick and spent the rest of the night meaninglessly

you are a fucking loser

confidence

he stared at his watch, noting seconds ticking away his opportunity. he would glance towards the farther side of the classroom, hoping to catch her stealing a glimpse at him. even that would have made his day. wild thoughts and even old advices raced through his mind however only to make him restrain himself from advancing towards her. she might accept him into her life or would she just treat him just like all the other guys? he dint dare to answer though part of him know where he stood.
time's up, there she goes off with her classmates who will enjoy every ounces of her company. he just stood there numbing himself with the same old excuses, lying to himself that he will one day get what he want.. all these wasted chances will soon come back to haunt him. 

1 year 6 months later..

nothing much ever changes around, cept that i've started to pay for everything i own now.                                                                                  

the more i've lived, i realise that life is greatly affected by mood, no life will suck if you are happy, its a matter of perception and outlook of how our mind digest whatever that comes. sadly its a tough skill that requires people to stay positive or in another word LIE.

life is never fair to begin with, not to those born in the third world countries where its either the never ending war and hatred of 2 or more group of people that affect the innocent newborn, purely innocent victims. they are brought into a world of pain, sufferings that nobody, no fucking anyone should deserve. why?

people like us in singapore are brought up in an environment where everything is provided for; a six year old singaporean child can complain about not having an iphone while another six year old in the other part of the atlas is starving, counting down on the last few ration his family can sustain on. why?

we should be reminded that we are so fortunate to even live, in a peaceful country, where food are of abundance. no matter how much you feel shitty about living here, please be reminded that you are not the only one with such minor problems, there are those who will kill to be in your shoes.

good9, sad world~