I've seen other people blog writing all about how people should live their life and everything, all the meaningful nonsense that are true. They were well written and i agree in most parts but as time go by, i've realised that alot of people also have the same sentiment.
Now what does that show? Almost everyone are able to understand what life should be lived and how it should be handled. They know how they want to live their life, be it meaningful or in shame depending on how they were brought up and taught because not everybody is the same. For instance, i might find smoking something to live with, others might hate it.
However, when i realised that most people have thought about these really DEEP and CHIM things, i find it weird why they are still not doing it according to what they wrote and their values... What is holding them back?
Saturday, April 16, 2011
Sunday, April 3, 2011
Hello stranger.
He always take the bus from a stop behind to not get seen with the crowd. They all thought that he hated the crowd. Only he knows why. He often wonder why is he so different from the others. He wants to change, nothing changed. Just then, the pink girl board the bus. He dint know her. He wants to know her. He know he cant unless something happens. Nothing happened. He just sat there waiting, wondering if he falls under the stalker catagory.
Nah, i think he is just desperate. And something is really wrong with his life.
Nah, i think he is just desperate. And something is really wrong with his life.
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Reflection Value
"So, 3 years of my Poly life are gone now and what have I learnt so far. Well, without a doubt they will be the 3 years of basic engineering skills i've obtained and some other stuff that I cant learn elsewhere.
I've made friends from around the school, I guess thats a good thing? See, most of my friends that came to TP since year one have been expelled due to certain reasons and I find it quite hard to socialise with others as well. That made me quite introverted when I have class to attend alone. People from around the school will hardly see me around after my time table ends as I usually head straight back home because there is nothing else to do. I dont have a CCA or some event that I have to attend most of the time. True, I know that by going to such activities will enable me to make more friends but I dont feel good when I'm with people I dont know. I've done charities set up by the engineer people call L.I.F.E or something, I had to go door to door collecting used books from houses around Pasir Ris. I thought, why not? Maybe I can do some good deeds while getting to know new people. But things just turn out that I get outcasted as they all are already friends and its hard to get into their circle of thoughts and humour because I find them really stupid. Prior to that, I've joined the E-Guides and that made me worse. All they do is cheer and bad mouth others. I just cant handle politics with people gossiping about others I dont know about, and I have to agree with them just to be friends with them. Cheering is also another huge obstacle for me as I cant get into the mood to do that. Call me weird or strange, well thats who I am.
Whatever it is, I managed to ski through 3 years of my Poly life. I still get to know great people that can click with me; that have the same level of mentality and thoughts. However they do not have the same time table as me so I'll just have to deal with it from time to time. Studying together would also be an issue because we dont stay close together so we hardly meet up except during school time. I know that cannot be a reason why my grades are so low but you have to understand that it affects me a lot. Without the morale to study, without the motivation, I understand that I have to deal with it but I just cant. Thats why I hated going to school every morning, knowing that i'll probably go home alone. I see people around school normally walk in pairs or in a big group with that huge smile on their face enjoying their poly life. I'll just have to walk pass them looking down, beaten and tired. I've tried to put on a brave front and walk with confidence along the concourse alone but thats just lying to myself and I hated it.
I've always blamed it on my o'level results as I just missed a point to get to a business course where there are much more girls to ogle at with my new friends. I then slowly realised that I'll still be the same as I'm just me. I guess I really did screw up my poly life and wasted 3 teenage years. Well that aint going to bring me down because I know that all of these will change in the future, and no-one deserves to be so helpless at what life throw at them.
*Ps: Our conversation on the phone just now, you said stop running away already. That made me realise that I should really stop. Thanks, that meant something.
F**J***Y***
(********E) "
Yes life's like that.
I've made friends from around the school, I guess thats a good thing? See, most of my friends that came to TP since year one have been expelled due to certain reasons and I find it quite hard to socialise with others as well. That made me quite introverted when I have class to attend alone. People from around the school will hardly see me around after my time table ends as I usually head straight back home because there is nothing else to do. I dont have a CCA or some event that I have to attend most of the time. True, I know that by going to such activities will enable me to make more friends but I dont feel good when I'm with people I dont know. I've done charities set up by the engineer people call L.I.F.E or something, I had to go door to door collecting used books from houses around Pasir Ris. I thought, why not? Maybe I can do some good deeds while getting to know new people. But things just turn out that I get outcasted as they all are already friends and its hard to get into their circle of thoughts and humour because I find them really stupid. Prior to that, I've joined the E-Guides and that made me worse. All they do is cheer and bad mouth others. I just cant handle politics with people gossiping about others I dont know about, and I have to agree with them just to be friends with them. Cheering is also another huge obstacle for me as I cant get into the mood to do that. Call me weird or strange, well thats who I am.
Whatever it is, I managed to ski through 3 years of my Poly life. I still get to know great people that can click with me; that have the same level of mentality and thoughts. However they do not have the same time table as me so I'll just have to deal with it from time to time. Studying together would also be an issue because we dont stay close together so we hardly meet up except during school time. I know that cannot be a reason why my grades are so low but you have to understand that it affects me a lot. Without the morale to study, without the motivation, I understand that I have to deal with it but I just cant. Thats why I hated going to school every morning, knowing that i'll probably go home alone. I see people around school normally walk in pairs or in a big group with that huge smile on their face enjoying their poly life. I'll just have to walk pass them looking down, beaten and tired. I've tried to put on a brave front and walk with confidence along the concourse alone but thats just lying to myself and I hated it.
I've always blamed it on my o'level results as I just missed a point to get to a business course where there are much more girls to ogle at with my new friends. I then slowly realised that I'll still be the same as I'm just me. I guess I really did screw up my poly life and wasted 3 teenage years. Well that aint going to bring me down because I know that all of these will change in the future, and no-one deserves to be so helpless at what life throw at them.
*Ps: Our conversation on the phone just now, you said stop running away already. That made me realise that I should really stop. Thanks, that meant something.
F**J***Y***
(********E) "
Yes life's like that.
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Feb
4 months later, nothing much changed for him. He tried to want something different. He tried to want to change. He cant. He will always be a shadow. A follower. He dont want to be nice anymore, he dont want to the one always caring for the rest. He want to be the one in need. He needs help.
I find that only with different perspective, then we can be happy. Thats somehow lying to yourself.
I find that only with different perspective, then we can be happy. Thats somehow lying to yourself.
Thursday, October 21, 2010
Bartender
Hi haze and moon, I've finally become a bartender( @marriot hotel, Barnone and TheLivingRoom) after wanting it for like dont know how long. I initially thought that being a bartender is going to be easy but wow, it isnt. 1st day of work was challenging, it is not much on the work that was tough, its the people there. Newcomers dont usually get welcome.. Its the really senior bartenders that have the patience and the knowledge of teaching to teach us. Gossips there travel around fast ( and i tot girls were better at it ), it only took an hour for all the bartender to know. Its my 2nd & a half week here and is still holding on. I've managed to swallow my pride for that long, i wouldn't have done that if not for some complicating issues i had. Nontheless, I'm learning alot more now and hope that they have more patience with my slow-paced intake of product knowledge.
And dear moon, y do u keep ignoring my endless whispers of wishes thoughout my life? Are u receiving em or are my wishes still pending in ur inbox which u have not yet seen? I hope its the latter. Goodnight moon, see you tomorrow night :)
And dear moon, y do u keep ignoring my endless whispers of wishes thoughout my life? Are u receiving em or are my wishes still pending in ur inbox which u have not yet seen? I hope its the latter. Goodnight moon, see you tomorrow night :)
Friday, September 17, 2010
Mixed Feelings
Hello again. Mixed feelings happens when something out of the ordinary took placed and people don't know how to react to it. Feelings are expressed both physically and mentally. Its hard to hide emotions from others when we dont really have the power to do it. As someone tell you somethings that you may not like or will feel unhappy about but you have to agree with them because they are the truth, you can nod and create a fake smile hoping that your facial expression dont give you away. However it aways fail because facial expression tells everything, its only a matter of whether you can detect it or not.
I've always been trying to fake an expression to hide my thoughts and feelings. And I've always failed, badly. But why do I want to lie to people about how i feel? Maybe because i am more of a agreeing type of person where everything someone says is always correct and i dont bother to do a background check myself. I agree to make people feel happy that they are always correct. I agree even as it cost some of my pride. I agree because I think for people more than i thought for myself. Sometimes i want to have someother's personality whereby they are able to stick to their own ground and not get pushed around easily. Its really hard for me to change. I think its either genetically made or I have no guts. My father have aways been someone who will give in for others (except when he is hungry), he can be so good to someone till that person take advantage and he still continue to give in. During Chinese New Year every year, I see my father trying to start a conversation with a relative and that relative usually will reply to 2 or 3 of the first few question. Then my relative will start to ignore him and talk to someone else. It happened so many time that i've noticed it. This fucking shows that people dont appreciate good things people are doing to them. Just like how i'm not appreciating my parents even as i constantly remind myself to do so. I have to change.
Crush, is a 5 letter word that start most relationships. I have lots of crushes on others at the sight of them or when someone thinks she is pretty. There are 2 mistakes here, firstly is liking someone too easily, secondly, its not having a mind of my own. I pretty much hate the first 1 more. I just cannot stop myself from liking others just at the sight of them, I wonder if it is an act of desperation of wanting someone so badly or is it just me. About the not having a mind of my own part, its like when i see this quite good looking girl and wanted to know how my friends think about her. If they give me a positive feedback, the next thing that will happen to me is going crazy over her. That is probably the reason i feel so depressed over my love life all the time because I usually lose the fight against her heart. I will then start thinking about her bad points that i dont like and try to make myself feel disgusted by her(which is impossible). I will want to act cool and everyhing that a girl might like in front of her and make her like me instead but hey, its just me, i know they will never happen. When all else fail, I just want to be friend with her despite knowing that part of me have not given up and still wants her as my other. I cant blame life for all this as life has given me a proper family, house, friends blah blah blah (comparing people from 3rd world country, I am already very lucky to be borned alive and well). I cant blame girls because I'm the one trying to attract them. I HAVE TO START TO LEARN TO BLAME MYSELF. Its only fair.
Different -> this word allows me to look at people with a much better view. I have concluded that everybody on Earth is Different. Lets talk about the Differences in human characteristics. I can find someone who likes the food i love, wears the same style but he cant think like me. Or i can find someone who can think like me but dont share my set of personalities. This is one good way to think when trying to forgive or before you start judge people(which everyone is doing it so often now). You have to understand that those people at fault do not think like you, they may never get the idea why its wrong to do something. Even if they know its wrong to do something, its their nature to do it and its not against their conscience because they are Different from everyone else. So its not up to us to judge people, its not up to anybody to judge people. I'm not saying criminals should be let free, because sometime there must be a control somewhere to a certain limit. Thats when judging comes in, its not up to one person to come up with the rule and punishment but the majority who agree on what's right and what's wrong(majority-> people(s) with a sane mind). Everyone has their own set of personalities and characteristics, no two person have similar one. We all think/react/do things Differently, 2 person my agree on the same thing, 5 others may not. SO STOP THE JUDGING AND START KEEPING THINGS TO YOURSELF. Everyone deserve a chance to live their own life. I am going to end with a quote i came out myself: Others cant make you do things you dont want to, but u can do what they cant. (think about it)
AND I WANT TO BE A BARTENDER!
I've always been trying to fake an expression to hide my thoughts and feelings. And I've always failed, badly. But why do I want to lie to people about how i feel? Maybe because i am more of a agreeing type of person where everything someone says is always correct and i dont bother to do a background check myself. I agree to make people feel happy that they are always correct. I agree even as it cost some of my pride. I agree because I think for people more than i thought for myself. Sometimes i want to have someother's personality whereby they are able to stick to their own ground and not get pushed around easily. Its really hard for me to change. I think its either genetically made or I have no guts. My father have aways been someone who will give in for others (except when he is hungry), he can be so good to someone till that person take advantage and he still continue to give in. During Chinese New Year every year, I see my father trying to start a conversation with a relative and that relative usually will reply to 2 or 3 of the first few question. Then my relative will start to ignore him and talk to someone else. It happened so many time that i've noticed it. This fucking shows that people dont appreciate good things people are doing to them. Just like how i'm not appreciating my parents even as i constantly remind myself to do so. I have to change.
Crush, is a 5 letter word that start most relationships. I have lots of crushes on others at the sight of them or when someone thinks she is pretty. There are 2 mistakes here, firstly is liking someone too easily, secondly, its not having a mind of my own. I pretty much hate the first 1 more. I just cannot stop myself from liking others just at the sight of them, I wonder if it is an act of desperation of wanting someone so badly or is it just me. About the not having a mind of my own part, its like when i see this quite good looking girl and wanted to know how my friends think about her. If they give me a positive feedback, the next thing that will happen to me is going crazy over her. That is probably the reason i feel so depressed over my love life all the time because I usually lose the fight against her heart. I will then start thinking about her bad points that i dont like and try to make myself feel disgusted by her(which is impossible). I will want to act cool and everyhing that a girl might like in front of her and make her like me instead but hey, its just me, i know they will never happen. When all else fail, I just want to be friend with her despite knowing that part of me have not given up and still wants her as my other. I cant blame life for all this as life has given me a proper family, house, friends blah blah blah (comparing people from 3rd world country, I am already very lucky to be borned alive and well). I cant blame girls because I'm the one trying to attract them. I HAVE TO START TO LEARN TO BLAME MYSELF. Its only fair.
Different -> this word allows me to look at people with a much better view. I have concluded that everybody on Earth is Different. Lets talk about the Differences in human characteristics. I can find someone who likes the food i love, wears the same style but he cant think like me. Or i can find someone who can think like me but dont share my set of personalities. This is one good way to think when trying to forgive or before you start judge people(which everyone is doing it so often now). You have to understand that those people at fault do not think like you, they may never get the idea why its wrong to do something. Even if they know its wrong to do something, its their nature to do it and its not against their conscience because they are Different from everyone else. So its not up to us to judge people, its not up to anybody to judge people. I'm not saying criminals should be let free, because sometime there must be a control somewhere to a certain limit. Thats when judging comes in, its not up to one person to come up with the rule and punishment but the majority who agree on what's right and what's wrong(majority-> people(s) with a sane mind). Everyone has their own set of personalities and characteristics, no two person have similar one. We all think/react/do things Differently, 2 person my agree on the same thing, 5 others may not. SO STOP THE JUDGING AND START KEEPING THINGS TO YOURSELF. Everyone deserve a chance to live their own life. I am going to end with a quote i came out myself: Others cant make you do things you dont want to, but u can do what they cant. (think about it)
AND I WANT TO BE A BARTENDER!
Monday, September 13, 2010
Service Staff
Me: Hi Sir, any drinks for you? We have japanese green tea, juices and beers
Sir: Got what? Can say again?
Me: We got green tea, juices and beers
Sir: Green tea free 1 issit?
Me: Ya, so green tea for you?
Sir: Then?
Me: (walks off to get his tea)
(BASED ON A TRUE STORY)
Why are people not treating waiters as if they are also humanoid? Is it because we get lower pay than u then we are supposed to get treated this way? I'm not saying all customers are like that, but most of them are rude and impatient..
I've worked as a promoter before, its a different kind of job where people think highly of u as u are some kind of brand ambassador. They will then respect you and talk to u properly. They adore you just because they think what u are doing is cool.
People should learn to be courteous to people for being who they are. But noo, they just have to be a fucking bitch and spoils other people day. They think they are far more superior than the others. All of these RICH and ignorant people will learn their lesson 1 day. And i hope they learn it both pysically and psychologically.
Learning can be 1 thing, changing is another. 90% fails all the time, guess we will just get used to them and their judges.. After getting used to it, the victims will finally learn something they dint think they will before. Increase in tolerance and patience in oneself and best of all, emotional control. Its just like telling the lesser man:"I dont give a shit".
Sir: Got what? Can say again?
Me: We got green tea, juices and beers
Sir: Green tea free 1 issit?
Me: Ya, so green tea for you?
Sir: Then?
Me: (walks off to get his tea)
(BASED ON A TRUE STORY)
Why are people not treating waiters as if they are also humanoid? Is it because we get lower pay than u then we are supposed to get treated this way? I'm not saying all customers are like that, but most of them are rude and impatient..
I've worked as a promoter before, its a different kind of job where people think highly of u as u are some kind of brand ambassador. They will then respect you and talk to u properly. They adore you just because they think what u are doing is cool.
People should learn to be courteous to people for being who they are. But noo, they just have to be a fucking bitch and spoils other people day. They think they are far more superior than the others. All of these RICH and ignorant people will learn their lesson 1 day. And i hope they learn it both pysically and psychologically.
Learning can be 1 thing, changing is another. 90% fails all the time, guess we will just get used to them and their judges.. After getting used to it, the victims will finally learn something they dint think they will before. Increase in tolerance and patience in oneself and best of all, emotional control. Its just like telling the lesser man:"I dont give a shit".
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